Ever receive an answer to a question that made you wish you never asked? We asked ourselves ‘Just how uniform are soil chemical conditions across a fairway that has been uniformly-managed for 50+ years?’ This talk delves into the natural variability of soil chemical and fertility properties across managed golf course turf. Recent research, involving meticulously specific-soil depth grid sampling of 50+ year-old fairways, shows unexpected discontinuity of soil pH, exchangeable K & Mg, and extractable P & S levels over very short distances. While the variability is sometimes structured (topographically-oriented), it is often unstructured (random, particularly on level surfaces). Discussion will include: implications on universal fertilizer rate recommendation, sampling strategies, the value of georeferencing and variable fertilizer application rate technology.